A life Half Lived
by Nuiserre
Summary: Post X2 Everyone is learning to deal in their own ways......some better than others
1. Staying

Disclamier: Fox Studios and Marvel own the X-Men and X-Men movies. I don't. Damn shame that it!! :)  
  
This is my first attempt at a X-Men fic so please review!! And be honest! I can take it! *snif* Also, tell me if you think I should keep going or am I wasting my time? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------  
  
Rogue's POV  
  
I knew he would be leaving again I just didn't think it would be so soon. He stayed fro the funeral partly because he knew I needed him there. And even though he was there physically I knew he wasn't there mentally.  
  
He didn't tell me where he was going and if it was up to him I think he wouldn't have told me he was even leaving. But the Professor asked him to. For my peace of mind or something like that.  
  
And to tell you the truth.... I think I would have been better off if he hadn't told me he was going. It's the worst feeling in the world; the feeling when someone you love leaves you. I was beginning to think everyone around me was going to leave.  
  
Jean died. Bobby left for college. Logan takes off.  
  
Anyone else??  
  
Scott must've sensed what I was feeling after Logan left because he hugged me and told me he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
After Jean died a lot of things changed. Not all things but a lot.  
  
We returned to a newly renovated Mansion and I sat for most (except for the ones Jean taught) of my final exams. Then came the first BIG decision. College.  
  
The Professor called me to his office where he offered me the chance to stay on at the mansion to teach classes and become part of the X-Men.  
  
I accepted.  
  
Booby didn't.  
  
I think we both knew that it was never going to last. He will always be one of my closest friends but nothing more. I love him deeply but only as a friend, nothing more.  
  
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"Ok, so I want all your definitions on my desk by Monday morning, no excuses please. Have a nice weekend"  
  
It was the end of the first week back at classes after what was being referred to as 'The Attack' and three days after Jean's funeral.  
  
I looked up and saw Logan standing in the doorframe. Staring  
  
"You look good up there kid" he said  
  
"Thanks, but don't call me kid" I replied  
  
He looked sad at that. Why I'm not sure. But whatever it was he got over it quickly  
  
"Seen Scooter lately??" He asked  
  
"No why?" I answered  
  
"He's been looking for you or something" he shrugged "Anyway, I'm going away for a while ya know... dunno when (Or if I thought) I'll be back... So take care you hear?"  
  
And with that he was gone.  
  
Later I found Scott sitting alone in his room.  
  
"Logan said you were looking for me" I said softly  
  
Scott turned around alarmed.  
  
"I'm sorry," I said quickly, noticing a tear run down his cheek "I'll come back later"  
  
"No, no Rogue please come in" He said patting the bed beside him  
  
"Can I do anything for you?" I asked  
  
"No, it's me that can do something for you" he said sadly.  
  
He held out a necklace with a small pendent in the shape of an X hanging from it.  
  
"I was cleaning out some of Jeans things and I saw this and thought you might like to have it" His voice wavered.  
  
"Oh no Scott you keep it" I said  
  
"No Jean would want you to have it. I want you to have it. You were very important to her. She was very proud of you. Of what you will become." His voice sounded teary and I knew he was trying to hold them back.  
  
I took it and I wear it everyday. I wear it the same way I wore the dogtags. A bittersweet reminder of what we lost that day.  
  
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I'm not a religious girl, but everyday I light two candles. One for Jean in the hope that her soul is at rest and one for the Wolverine in the hope that one day his soul will find someplace to rest.  
  
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	2. Leaving

"A Life Half Lived"  
  
Chapter 2 Diclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue Authors note: This chapter has made the rating of this story go up. This is Wolverine's POV afterall  
  
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Logan's POV  
  
I knew I'd be leavin' again. But I wasn't sure how long I should've waited after Jean's funeral. Maybe I could've waited a little longer. No that's a lie I had to get out of there before she got hurt.  
  
I didn't want to tell her I was going. Ol' Chuck made me, he said I owed it too her and he was right, 'for her peace of mind' were his exact words. She'd only look at me with those sad eyes and ask me why I was going and when would I be back. The truth was I wasn't really sure where I was going or when I'd be back. I would definitely be back though. I made a promise to her. A promise not easily broken. I promised I would look after her and I intended to. That was the reason i was leaving.  
  
After Jean died alot of things changed. Not everything but alot.  
  
The mansion got redone up real nice again and classes keep going. She sat her finals and accepted Ol' Chuck's invitation to become a teacher. She of course joined the X-Men, and as much as I'd hate to admit it, that scared me shitless.  
  
She was growing up right in front of my eyes. So quickly. And fuck! She was getting smart.  
  
I think she thought she needed to be. No more staying in her shell. If she was going to be an X-Men she had to start acting like one. Mind you she looked fucking hot in that uniform!  
  
That Bobby kid left. I always knew he would. I was the only one who would never leave Marie. Not for too long anyway.  
  
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"Logan!" Fuck! It's Scooter  
  
"Yea?" I growled  
  
"Do you know where i could find Rogue?" he asked  
  
"Nup" I knew perfectly well where she was but i wasn't going to tell him. Just cos Jean's gone doesn't mean he gets my Marie. And he knew it.  
  
"Well, if you see her can you tell her I'm looking for her?" he replied.  
  
"Yup" I said turning to walk away  
  
"Oh and Logan?" Fuck!  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Thanks for sticking round" Fuck, fuck fuck.  
  
"No problem" Fuck I'm a jerk  
  
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"Ok, so I want all your definitions on my desk by Monday morning, no excuses please. Have a nice weekend"  
  
I knew she saw me in the doorway and as kids scattered from the classroom i just stared at her. I finally decided I better say something.  
  
"You look good up there kid" I said  
  
"Thanks, but don't call me kid" she replied  
  
That's right i thought. You're not the little girl I met on that fuckin freezing road all that time ago. Anyway....  
  
"Seen Scooter lately??" I asked  
  
"No why?" She answered  
  
"He's been looking for you or something" I shrugged "Anyway, I'm going away for a while ya know... dunno when I'll be back... So take care you hear?"  
  
I didn't want to see the look in her eyes so I just turned and walked away.  
  
Later I found a cheap motel and decided to stay the night and try and figure out just exactly where i was going. What the fuck? I asked myself. You've never done that shit before. You used to just drive and not care. Shit you've been with them too long! I thought. Never mind.  
  
I'm not exactly sure what I'm even doing out here. All I know is that Marie would have been hurt if I'd stayed. All the women that I've cared about in my life end up getting hurt. Just look at Jean. There was no way in fucking hell I was going to let that happen to Marie. No fucking way!  
  
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I'm not a religious guy but everyday I send a thought upwards hoping that Jean is at peace, wherever she is and that nothing will ever come to harm my Marie.  
  
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	3. Wanting

"A Life Half Lived"  
  
Chapter 3 Diclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue Author's Note: I don't do a very good Scott hey!  
  
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I think in the back of my mind I knew she was going to leave us. She told me. She said 'something terrible is going to happen' I just didn't put two and two together in time. Everyone was at the funeral. Even Logan. I was surprised to see him there. He was there for Rogue I suppose.  
  
Rogue. She's a wonderful girl. Sat for her finals and is now a teacher here. We needed a new one now that... I think Logan has some crazy notion that I'm trying to take his place with her. That's not true. I'm just grateful to her. She's the only one is this whole place that doesn't treat me like some sort of invalid. Like I'm going to break at any moment.  
  
I had a feeling that Logan was going to take off some time soon. It wasn't his 'style' to stick around. Even when she needed him most. She knew it too and was miserable. I hugged her and told her I wasn't going anywhere.  
  
After Jean died everything changed. Everything  
  
We returned to a newly renovated Mansion and classes continued as per usual, except for Jean's. After a while Rogue began to teach some of her classes and i found myself listening outside the door. Just to hear the words I've heard Jean say for some many years.  
  
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I saw Logan prowling the halls with his bag. He's leaving i thought. I'd better say something  
  
"Logan!" I called  
  
"Yea?" He growled  
  
"Do you know where i could find Rogue?" I asked... I didn't know what to say  
  
"Nup" He knew where she was. He just didn't want to tell me. Fine  
  
"Well, if you see her can you tell her I'm looking for her?" i asked.  
  
"Yup" He said turning to walk away  
  
'Say something Scott, my mind urged me'  
  
"Oh and Logan?" I abruptly said  
  
"Yea?" came the reply  
  
"Thanks for sticking round" I decided on  
  
"No problem" He replied testily  
  
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"Ok, so I want all your definitions on my desk by Monday morning, no excuses please. Have a nice weekend"  
  
I was listening to Rogue teach. She is a good teacher. Firm but fair. Kind but keen. Just like Jean.  
  
I heard Logan start talking and decided it was best to leave then. I wanted to talk to Rogue. To thank her for being there. To thank her for being my friend. It could wait. Hopefully Logan would tell her I was looking for her. Suddenly I caught a whiff of White Musk. Jean wore White Musk. I could feel the heartache welling up inside me.  
  
Later I was sitting alone in my room when Rogue found me.  
  
"Logan said you were looking for me" She said softly  
  
I turned around startled; I didn't know she was there  
  
"I'm sorry," She said hastily. I didn't know if she could see the tears falling down my cheek  
  
"I'll come back later" she said  
  
"No, no Rogue please come in" I said patting the bed beside me  
  
"Can I do anything for you?" She asked  
  
"No, it's me that can do something for you" I said sadly.  
  
I held out a necklace with a small pendent in the shape of an X hanging from it. It was Jean's X pendent. The one she had when we first started this.  
  
"I was cleaning out some of Jeans things and I saw this and thought you might like to have it." I said my voice giving way.  
  
"Oh no Scott you keep it." She said  
  
"No Jean would want you to have it. I want you to have it. You were very important to her. She was very proud of you. Of what you will become." I was trying to hold back it all back. I wanted to tell her everything. But I'm not that kind of guy.  
  
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I'd like to think that I could be a religious guy. But I can't. Because everyday I ask the Lord why he took Jean away from me. Why did he let something so beautiful leave this earth and I never get a reply.  
  
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End file.
